Here's the thing. I'm new to this mom roll. I spent the last year trying to figure it all out. I read all the recommended books and still I am left figuring it out based on pure experience. It's hard out here in this hood, motherhood that is. Here are a few things i've taken away from my first year as a mom. Things I will no longer accept and do. Things I decided didn't work for me.
4 Things I no longer do as a first time mom:
1. Getting pissed when the plan doesn't work every time: this took me a whole year, but I am realizing that no matter how much I plan, how great my routine is and how hard I implement it… Shit happens! Sometimes the 6 PM bedtime turns into a 10 PM bedtime. Sometimes no screen time turns into three movies a day just to get a break. Sometimes no sugar turns into the only thing my child will taste is an Oreo cookie… So I'm gonna let them have it!
2. Allowing others (even family) to label my child: this one is tough. But real shit ... my child is not a brat, their not shy and their not rude... they are literally a baby trying to communicate in their best way. I will defend my child bc when they are old enough to hear and understand these comments, I want them to know I will always vouch for them!
3. Thinking my way of parenting is superior: truth is, motherhood is hard. Parenting is hard. There is not "right" way. So whatever someone else choosing to do is their story. And I don't have to judge it, mock it or have any off energy towards it... bc it has nothing to do with me.
4. Doing everything myself because I know I'm capable: asking for help has nothing to do with my capabilities. I will no longer suffer in silence. I choose to reach out for help often. This is not a sign of weakness ... this is a sign of maturity.
These are just a few and I found them to be the most impactful for me. Finding practices that work for you that also fit your list of beliefs is what makes each of our motherhood experiences unique.